The Retirement Bubble

It has been almost impossible, or so it seems, to ignore the media frenzy surrounding Tiger Woods and his private life, now so very, very public. I don’t find anything interesting, and certainly not inspiring, about this particular public melodrama. I admired Tiger for his golf. Anything about his personal life was his business, not mine, and I had no desire to make it mine now. So I decided I would not waste my time following this story, but focus on what I felt was truly important. Despite that, I found myself “checking in” every tenth article or so. I really don’t know why and that is the truth. There is simply nothing in his private life that has any meaning to me, personally or professionally, but check in, I did.

When Tiger mentioned he was a Buddhist and that he had strayed from his faith, I only then remembered that this was his background. Fine, that is his private business too.

Putting Tiger aside for the moment, let me mention another famous person, the Dalai Lama, Tibet’s religious and political leader and a very well-known Buddhist. As his recent visit to the White House demonstrates, one of many visits he has made to government leaders all over the world for decades now, the Dalai Lama is a well-respected man. If you actually read his writings and hear his words, he is also a very well-informed person and very open-minded. It was he who once said, “The mind is like a parachute. It works best when it is open.”

I do not play golf and I am not a Buddhist, but I have great respect for both these men for the contributions they have made to their vocations, one in sports, the other in religion.

I mention this today because Tigers’ story reminded me that these two very different men have two things in common, they are both very famous people and they both share the same religious belief. Therefore, it is no surprise that the media, when talking to the Dalai Lama, would ask him what he felt about Tigers’ situation; given that Tiger is a Buddhist. So it was with some mild surprise that I read this a couple days ago when he responded to that question.

“Tibet’s exiled spiritual leader told The Associated Press during a brief interview in his hotel suite in Beverly Hills that he had not heard of Woods,…”

What? He had not heard of Tiger Woods and his melodrama? How could that be? Was he embarrassed? I cannot believe that. Over the years, the Dalai Lama has earned a reputation for not avoiding difficult questions on the subject of Buddhism, among others. He answers them, typically in a very straight-forward manner. But I continued reading,

“….but when the circumstances were explained to him he said that when it comes to adultery, ‘all religions have the same idea. Whether you call it Buddhism or another religion, self-discipline, that’s important,’ he said. ‘Self-discipline with awareness of consequences.’”

Good answer. In my mind, it was very relevant to Tiger Woods’ circumstances. But it also reminded me that self-discipline is not just relevant to Tiger Woods and his circumstances, but to me and my circumstances as well. Even though I already “knew” this, it was useful to be reminded.

I could not count the times that I have said to myself, and others I know have said to me, “I really should do something about this. I know that, but I lack the self-discipline.” Oddly enough, it is not always said apologetically, but as a justification for inaction. It shows humility and that is positive, but it also shows failure to do what needs to be done, even to obliquely justify that failure, and that is negative, at least for me. That is sad.

I do a lot of things, set a lot of goals. Right now, as I write, I have to confront challenges to progress to one of my important goals that I really wish I did not have to deal with. I know that I have to deal with them and I know it will be difficult. I know that what I do not choose to do will eventually be forced on me anyhow, if I don’t do it now. But I still have problems and they really boil down to one thing, self-discipline. I would never have expected it, but Tiger Woods story, at least this one aspect of it, has led me to look at myself and recognize that self-discipline is once again my challenge, as much as it is Tigers’.

I am thankful that my challenges are not those of Tiger and I am not ashamed of them, but “self-discipline with the awareness of consequences” speaks as clearly to me as it may to him. The re-recognition of what I already knew from nearly 65 years of experience is useful to me today. So I thought I would share it with you, in the event that you find it useful too. One thing seems clear to me. It is essential to future planning, regardless of age, circumstances, or choice of goals.
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I will end with one totally separate comment. A couple of you have written me and said, “Bob, I wanted to send your essay to a friend, but when I went back to find it, it wasn’t on your homepage anymore and it took me quite awhile to find it (or, I couldn’t find it).” If you have one of these essays you would like to save, or share, but perhaps not immediately, then all you have to do is click on the title of the essay and a new window will open that shows only that essay. Copy the web address at that page and you will always be able to find it, and it is the web address you would send to a friend so they would see what you wanted them to see.
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