The Retirement Bubble

In my own experience and that of others I have worked with over the decades, I have found that there are three things we like to have. And if any one or more of them are missing, we prefer it be by our choice, not someone else’s, and we will work to restore them, perhaps in a new form, but one we find acceptable. It so happens that each starts with an “s” in English. They are structure, stability, and security. Let me define them very briefly.

Structure may be provided by your parents, your school, your government, but whatever structure is important to you, you feel comfortable that it will be there tomorrow morning, next week, next month, next year and beyond. Structure is made up many tiny parts that fit together. Structure is knowing you have to be in History class at 3 pm on Wednesday. Structure is knowing who is going to be beside you when you wake up in the morning. Structure is knowing that your boss likes reports in a specific format and you know that format well. Structure is knowing that you live in a democracy and the secret police are not going to kick in the door and make you “disappear”. Structure is knowing that you are not welcome somewhere, so it is best to avoid it. During the Cold War for most of us, structure was knowing both our nation’s allies and its enemies, at least most of the time.

Stability is all about your environment, including the people you love or like the most and hate or dislike the most, and all the many you meet briefly or simply ignore. Stability is feeling confident that the structure is secure. Stability is safely assuming that no one on the bus has a gun and wants to kill you. Stability is safely assuming that when the traffic light turns red, the cars will stop a second or two later. Stability is knowing that your children will have what they need to get ahead in life. Stability is knowing that when a partner says, “I love you”, he or she means it. Stability is knowing that you have planned well for the future and can look forward to it with enthusiasm.

Security is all about you. Security is more than feeling safe. Security is knowing that sometimes a piece of the structure collapses, but knowing that it will be replaced with something else, maybe better, and there will be a place for you in it. Security is knowing that sometimes your environment can be unstable for awhile, but that stability will return, maybe even greater stability, and that it will be one that you can adjust to with a little effort. Security is walking out the door every morning, whether happy or not, knowing who you are, where you are going, and how you are going to get there, whether on the road to work, in your career, in your marriage, in your retirement.

The three S’s are not exactly the same for everyone. The structure that makes your life easy may be an obstacle to someone else. Your idea of stability may be someone else’s instability. What makes you feel secure may make someone else feel suffocated. But outside your immediate circle of co-workers, friends, and family, “someone else” will have to take care of themselves. You focus on each S as it affects your little corner of the world. When it works out well, there is a good life to be lived.

Well, here we are in 2010. Whoops. The “structure” so many of us counted on for so many years is dangerously shaking for some of us and has already collapsed for many others. Read a magazine, surf the Internet, turn on the television news and it is not at all clear what the “new” structure is going to be, only that the old one is falling apart. You can look for a leader with an outline of the new structure, but those who claim leadership offer no new structure, just a temporary “fix” here and there. Their sense of structure and stability has collapsed too. We may understand why they don’t have the answer, but they keep pretending they do. That can get old really, really fast. Is it any wonder that our sense of personal security is not what it used to be either? I don’t think so.

We all regularly use terms like “collapse” or “crash” at times like this. If we talk about “bubbles”, we are talking about the “pop” of that bubble. All of this is in our heads. Structures do not just collapse. They can weaken for long periods of time, but the day comes when the stress is so great that the structure just cannot stand any longer and then we experience a “collapse”. The collapse is in our perception of reality, not the reality itself.

But when all is said and done, who cares? We still have to deal with the collapse of the old structure.

If any of the above seems to apply to your situation, here is a suggestion. The Life Sabbatical is not just a way of dealing with future planning when you are older. It is also very useful if you feel the structure, stability, and security you need to live happily is disappearing. It can be a way of “stepping to one side” while the old structure’s collapse is finally acknowledged and a new one gets under construction. And when that new structure’s outline becomes clearer, the work you have done during your Life Sabbatical can help you adjust and find your own place in the new structure.

One thing is certain. It beats allowing yourself to be buried under the collapse.
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